To think it is 20 years since I was referred to a professional to assist me with what was going on in my head. I had been at the time, for a number of years experiencing great changes in my mood, being over happy and full of life one moment and then extremely depressed the next, and cycling between these two often in less than a day.
“The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.” – Leonard Cohen
Like billions of people around the world, no doubt, I suffer from insomnia. I have for as long as I can recall, at least since my early days of high school. Who knows what caused it back then, hormones, growing pains, staying up late finishing homework, last minute study from exams.
What I’d give to be pain free. I’d give my pain, that is for sure.
I have suffered chronic pain since the early 1990’s, not all that long after I joined the ‘real world’. being a kid at school was so easy, no responsibilities beyond making sure you had your homework ready to hand in on time, that your school uniform was clean and in a good state of repair, and that you had completed any chores to avoid the wrath of your parents. The read world changed all of this. There was further education, bills, adult relationships, alcohol, illicit substances, and of course that one thing most adolescent boys hang out for, their first car.
I’m not sure that this is a new beginning, not in the traditional sense anyway. It is, however, somewhere for me to comfortably express my thoughts, feelings and views openly. Unfortunately the world is still very much closed minded when it comes to people who are different, who are not what they perceive to be normal. While I am not stating who I am, I am real, and anything reflected here will be of me. I am not after critical acclaim, or recognition, this is simply an outlet, a replacement of the various notebooks I have used over the journey that has been my life…. so far……